It's true! And I am no longer going to deny or ignore this fact. Hiding my shame with continuous athletic exercises to shift attention from my groin and onto my active lifestyle will not do. I wish to bring this issue forward, making the conversation both public and acceptable. After all, roughly half of the global public is wang-and-nut-enhanced, and I would wager that a fairly large portion of that be-nutted public has experienced the excrutiating insecurities of flaunting the well-defined outline of their junk when wearing sweat-pants.

In fact, it is in the public interest, nay, PUBLIC NEED, that I commence this discussion of cock-and-balls-itude on the principle of galvanizing men worldwide against their fears of showing a little too much nut. Whether in the gym, at a Saturday afternoon football game, summer barbecue, or a lazy Sunday morning brunch, the outline of your perky package should be the least of your masculine concerns. "Brothers!", I say. Do not be ashamed of your flacid and flexible manhood. Wear it proudly, just as a woman adorns her beautiful boobies with bedazzlement, gaining attention from her neighbors of either sex while, at the same time, earning free drinks and catcalls at the bar, display your pocket-rocket in all its profiled glory. Despite cold days, lesser endowment, or undie type, let your junk dangle proudly for the world to ogle, draped in the fleecy cotton of your gym-wear.

I, for one, will proudly wear my piece like the prize exhibit it is, swinging in boxers or bundled in briefs. If I am feeling frisky, I might even release the twig and giggle-berries into the greater polyester wilds of my favorite track pants, uninhibited by the bunching seams of my gitch. "Men!", I exclaim, let us be proud of our family jewels! Let us rejoice in our hanging bits, breaking free of the "size does matter" chains that bind us, allowing our ships to set sail with the "motion of the ocean".