I've decided to ring in my first quarter-century with some new technology: a blog. Legitimized by gamers, pervs, and emo-kids everywhere, the idea of blogging has been slowly gnawing at my burgeoning ego for months now. And here I sit, fattening myself with Cheez-its™ and stolen gourmet chocolates in front of my computer, retelling stories of heroic feats of greatness and superhuman-ness.

That said, let us discuss my reasons for blogging, the first of which was my twenty-fifth birthday party. Much as Jesus lived the better part of his first twenty-some years, outside of birth, in relative anonymity, I have as well. When the only son of God (as the Christians put it) decided to make his presence public, he started healing the blind with an open-handed smack to the forehead, and turning water into wine - getting more than one Betty toasted, I would wager. Thus, in a much less inspired way I have decided to make my own life public, (as Jimminy Christ did), for those who wish to know about it. I, however, have chosen a much less strenuous medium, a blog; as opposed to miracles. But any-who, back to the party.

For those of you who were there, congratulations, you will be remembered in the tomes of history for your wisdom, charity, and down-right awesomeness. For those of you who were not there - I hope you all trip on something and get a nasty scrape. As far as the party goes, on a fun-ness scale rated by its crazy/sweetness, I would say that the mini-pub-crawl - rated on a scale of 1 to Public Displays of Affection featuring Penetration - was a rousing success. I got sufficiently drunk, as did most of the party-go'ers, and I think as a result a couple of my peeps might have enjoyed some sorts of sexual pleasures. Good fun for everyone involved. Nothing too crazy, but just up my alley. Unlike Hey-zuess Chris-tus I don't require millions of Christians lavishing gifts upon eachother to ring in my big day; just a couple of friends, a butt-load of shots, and a pint of my flavourite lager.

The other spurning influence for my shiny new blog is based on jealousy. My best buddy from high-school has consistently beat me to the punch on every cool life adventure: college diploma, hip-ness, cool digs, and general over-all life sweetness. Plainly said: he generally does a lot of cool shit, and has recently expanded said 'cool shit' into writing a blog mostly conveying the high-points of that 'cool shit'. Thus, I am jealous and would like to trump him by possibly writing something infintely cooler and perhaps wiser than him. This will be tough, but I am hoping that if I just keep writing, churning out loads of babble, that I might spit out some little nugget of wisdom or hilarity that might lead to total world peace, or domination, depending on whose hands it might fall into.

Either way, it is my hope to write down some funny shit, tickle a funny bone somewhere, and call it a day. To my friends and family: I apologize in advance, there are definitely going to be some stories about you.

Until then enjoy the dick and fart jokes. Peace, love and creepy-ness